Chapter Six: Hamilton
He already missed Friday nights where he and his friends would go to a bar or stay in their apartment chugging bottles of beer one after another like there was no tomorrow. They’d hookup and tried things that they shouldn’t have. They’d tear their hearts open and share secrets too sacred to tell anyone. But that was behind him suppressed.
For the thought about it, he would break into pieces. He’d try and move on, but these memories were too sacred to sentimental to think about without falling apart. He focused on the road ahead. Highway 68 was empty; it seemed like was no end in sight. It was a long stretch of nothingness.
It felt peaceful and he hadn’t felt like this in a long time. It felt odd, he was used to the bustling city, but he grew into liking the peacefulness. He felt at home- more than he felt in the city or behind white picket fences. It was a place for reflection- alone with his thoughts- something he hadn’t done in a while. He was grappling with his own thoughts and feelings. He had been running away from his demons that he was too afraid to touch.
He’d been asked if he had a girlfriend far too many times. He’d change the subject and ramble about some philosophical subject that no one cared about. He was running away from the truth, maybe cause he was paralyzed with disbelief and fear of rejection- just like the rest of us when we are dealt with truth that we don’t want to believe or accept ourselves. It isn’t people told us how our lives should go. They said you’d marry the opposite sex and raise a family. A happily ever after ending. Just like them fairy tales.
Deep down he knew he was different. He wasn’t part of the fairytale ending we were told when we were younger. He was so consumed on suppressing his feeling and making his folks proud- he forgot to live. He knew he can’t live like this anymore. It was eating and he,too, just like Jack, was dying slowly inside.
As Hamilton was riding back home he picked up something from the ground. He had a gut feeling it was something important. Slowing opening the letter, he felt a sense of uneaisness. He thought about his own life and how unerringly similar it was to his. He thought about how Jack never the chance to live and will have the chance to hug his loved ones again. Jack gave up on life and for some reason he saved someone else’s. Hamilton’s.
Hamilton thought about Jack’s words and decided believe. Believe in life. Everything is going to be alright.