Everybody has heard about the riddle titled ‘Who am I?’ where the guesser has to guess the identity of the person or thing based off of clues. It’s something I have trying to understand for myself. Something I have had internal fights about.
Now, I am an American. I not only have an American passport, I am proud to be an American. America has offered me opportunities throughout my life with not only educational opportunities, but awesome job opportunities and awesome friends. I not only go to Drew University, but got my dream job working for a police department for a year. I was like a fan boy when I got the job. Just like a girl with Bieber fever (is that even still a thing?). It’s the best.
Yet, at the same time I’ve had a sense of uneasiness. You see, I am a Third Culture Kid. A kid that is raised outside out of his or her parents’ culture. You see, I am Chinese American. I am more American than Chinese (Jersey represent). If you are wondering, I don’t watch Jersey Shore, but Vinny is cool.
I try to stay away from Chinese culture when out in public for fear of stereotypes. Fear of being judged maybe? For fear of being not American? However, my skin and whatever Asian features I have give my Chinese identity away. Maybe it’s those damn squinty eyes? Damn! My cover is blown. So who am I? Am I Chinese or American? I struggle with this everyday. I still don’t have an answer. I am American through and through. Yet what about my Chinese identity. Am I not doing justice by not acknowledging it? I don’t know. I am still on a journey to find it. Thank you.