Chapter One: Fearless
It’s a Wednesday night and I can’t sleep. Counting sheep don’t help. I’m too restless from dreaming– my head is often in the clouds– usually dreaming of finding him.
Dreamin’ of all the things we would do together. Livin life to the fullest. I wanna see all the beautiful places on earth– like there’s no tomorrow. I want to party– like there’s no tomorrow. All with him. There’s gotta be a way– somehow. Only in a fuckin Disney fairytale would you find a guy like him. He’s everything I ever wanted and everything I wanted to be.
He is a catcher on his college baseball team. I love it when he takes off his catcher’s mask. The way the sweat makes his short golden brown hair spike up and how it looks when sweat drips down his face. The way he holds his mask and how he looks down when returning to the dugout. He looks so lean and mean when he steps up to the plate.
Yeah, I’m on a different college team– rivals actually– but I get so happy when he does well. Especially when he gets a homer. The look when he does– priceless.
To be honest, I’m my own worst enemy, you know. I keep missing chances cause I’m too afraid to talk him, ya know– maybe ask him for his number. Something I die to do.
I fuckin missed so many chances. It’s a shame. And I’m pisssed. Pissed. I really wish I was as fearless off the field as I am on the field. As a pitcher, I always do my best to win and reach my goal– to make the other team cry like babies. I can’t let another opportunity pass me by and gotta talk to him. I just gotta. No ifs or buts.