Chronicles From A Nobody: What is Real and Make Believe

Chapter Three: Lightning Crashes

Hi, it’s Lance. I never wanted to grow up– like Peter Pan. I wanted to be like other students. A happily ever after- like a normal child. Never wanted to be an adult. But, I guess life doesn’t work that way. Sometimes life forces you to be an adult.

I was supposed to have a normal childhood and teenage years– do all those things that children and teenagers do. Hanging round with friends talking about relationship statuses– who’s taken and who’s on the market. And the road trip adventures to someplace new every weekend.

Sometimes going to sporting events and sometimes doing stupid stuff. But life changes. You know, it never turns out the way you planned. All I can do now is dream of a childhood and teenage years I never had– it’s like a Disney fairytale. Dreaming of a happily ever after that would never come. I mean that how I live now.

It all started when dad left. If if you’re like me– you got a heart that doesn’t break easily– well, this was time when it did. How did it end up like this?  Everything fell apart cause the man you called your role model just left. Lightning crashes down. All your dreams and hopes– just gone– and reality hits. Can’t blame it all him though– I was naive. Things change. You grow up fast. Take care of the house, you know– man of the house. Help round the house you know. If I can, make some money.

Sometimes, I can’t deal. I just want to have fun– like the others. But, this is real life, not make believe. It’s like baseball– or any sport really. You plan and practice before every game. Analyzing past games and practicing your pitches to perfect it and improve on your past games. Of course, you expect to win, but something happens you really didn’t expect and you lose. Lose badly. Where did it come from– I don’t know! It was unexpected–  just like life. Life’s tough.

I can’t deal anymore. You know, it’s been 3 years since dad left, I have had depression ever since. Sometimes it’s ok and I can deal. Sometimes, I can’t deal. Depression isn’t your normal sadness that you get… It’s much worse. Much, much worse. You feel like it’s the end and all hope is gone. You have no purpose to live anymore. You don’t wanna do anything. I felt that I’d rather end it all sometimes– you know. It’s bad and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

However, ever since I met Matt (the same Matt from Dreams From Two Towns) half a year ago, it has gotten better– he is the only reason I want to live. The only person I live for.

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